I remember when I was a little girl, and still now, how much I love to dance. I really love dancing with my daddy, especially. I remember standing on his feet letting him lead me at my first dance. (I am sure it has happened many other times, too.) This book, my friend Heidi had given me before I left for Australia, has been really making me think. Its about how every girl asks this simple question deep in their spirit and even sometimes out loud. Do you think I am beautiful? I know I have asked it many times both out loud and even more times in my spirit. Till this day I struggle with wondering if I am beautiful. I look at all these magazines, movies, TV shows, and what people explain to be the "perfect woman" should look like. I have never really fit that profile, because of this I always have wondered if I was beautiful.
When I was younger, my mom would always sing that song: You are so beautiful - Joe Cocker
It is such an amazing and touching song. I don't remember when I stopped believing it, but I do remember thinking that my mom is just saying this because I am her daughter and she has to. Like I have said I am reading this book called Do you think I'm Beautiful? by Angela Thomas. It is very insightful and sometimes I wondered if this author has followed me around and wrote all my thoughts and actions on paper. I know that is not possible, but it opened my eyes to the fact that I am not alone thinking this question. In fact, our Abba Father wants to tell us how much He loves us and how He made us beautifully and wonderfully. So crazy for me to think that I am beautiful in God's eyes. The same time I have been reading this book I have been in our lecture phase of the Birth Attendant School at YWAM Perth, Australia. During our lecture phase we have our students prepare a Jesus Devo (something that God is wanting to share with us and how it relates to health care). One of our students did a Jesus Devo on this topic as well. She was sharing how in the Garden of Eden how God created Eve last. It was then that He said it was perfect. We are not an afterthought to God. He waited and took his time to create us. Wow! What a thought! I am not an afterthought. I don't know about you but that rocked my world.
It went so well with the chapter of this book I am reading, The Wallflower Who is Asked to Dance. I have lately been seeing my self as a wallflower just sitting in the back ground watching as people pass by. Not even noticing me. I felt so invisible. I felt so alone, but God intervened and asked me to follow Him to the dance floor of life. He didn't create me to sit back and watch life pass me by. He created me to dance with Him. He, like my daddy on my first dance, wants me to stand on His feet as He leads me around the dance floor. He asked me, "Do you trust Me? Do you trust me to lead you where I want you to go?" Yes Lord I trust you! So He has been leading me around the dance floor while I am standing on His feet. Eventually I will be able to stand on my own feet and still follow His lead in my life. It is a growing process. I have to realise that I am never suppose to lead my life. I will always be following God and His direction in my life. I have a choice, but I choose Him. What better place to be then on His feet?
I am still learning how to follow Him, but He is patient with us. He will continue to ask us to dance with Him. He is waiting for us to say yes.
Since I have said yes God is really leading me to more of the dance floor. He is showing me more of what He has created me to be and who I am in Him. He is opening my eyes to the beauty that He sees in me. He has brought me from one step to the next. And now He is preparing me for the next step. It is amazing how God does wait for us, to move with us not against our will. He is so patient, loving and kind. I know learning this will help me in the future. Help me with His children He wants me to reach out to.
I know this is a little deep, but this is what is going on with me. I hope you can take something from this. Our Abba Father wants to dance with you too. Will you let Him lead you on the dance floor of life?
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